Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Goofus and Gallant

This could be a scenario right out of "Highlights" magazine if Goofus was a bipolar alcoholic and Gallant was an 18 year old stepson.

Shrinking Violet: Gallant, did you hear, I'm giving myself allergy shots now.

Gallant: To YOURSELF, that is kind of freaky.

SV: What do you mean, you have been giving allergy shots to your dog since you were 10 years old.

Gallant: There is a big difference between giving it to your dog and giving it to yourself. How do you force yourself to give yourself pain. Where do you inject it?

SV: That's the great thing, you inject into fat not muscle so it doesn't hurt.

Goofus: So, basically, she can give it to herself anywhere. Snarf.

Gallant: OR THE BETTER THING TO SAY, DAD, WOULD BE THAT SHE WILL HAVE A HARD TIME FINDING A PLACE TO INJECT IT BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY FAT, YOU CAD.

Gosh, is there any wonder I'd take a bullet for that kid?


13 Comments:

Blogger Brooke said...

As well you should! :)

2:52 PM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

Gallant: 1
Goofus: 0

8:47 PM  
Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

I'd take a bullet for that kid!

12:22 AM  
Blogger Plain Jane said...

What a hero! :)

6:51 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

He'd be getting double the presents next holiday. Goofus on the other hand would get a membership to a gym for his big fat head. :)

7:03 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

Ugh Allergy shots. I hope they help because that sounds like no fun. Does you husband really have bipolar? We are dealing with a recent diagnosis in our family too.
Your stepson on the other hand is a sweetie.

8:09 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

I love your relaionship with your step-son, and I see something familiar in your relationship with your husband.
Once, after spending some time and cash at Nordstroms on new lipstick and blush for a special event I asked my husband what he thought of my new make-up. He said, "Well, your eyes look kind of squinty."

3:36 PM  
Blogger Shrinking Violet said...

Yep, The Man is really, severely bipolar. He is also a recovering alcoholic. Feel free to email me if you have questions or need good information on either. And giving yourself allergy shots is not a pain at all. Because, seriously, you inject into fat. You can't even feel it. And better than having to go to the clinic twice a week!

3:41 PM  
Blogger Shrinking Violet said...

And, Mignon, I get similar remarks after I touch up the roots of my haircolor.

3:44 PM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Marry the stepson!

4:34 AM  
Blogger Shrinking Violet said...

The Kid is GORGEOUS. Can you imagine? It would be Mary Kay LaTourneau all over and worse. Pass the Spam!

6:56 AM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

I always liked Gallant better anyway. Didn't we all?

7:42 AM  
Blogger Shrinking Violet said...

I would like to say I always preferred galant, but clearly my 20s were spent with MANY a goofus.

1:16 PM  

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