Friday, February 17, 2006

Sweetness and Light

The Man had to return to his hometown for a family funeral. Before leaving, he left me a list of instructions for the care and feeding of the MRD. He also went through "drills" with me regarding her routine, her likes, dislikes, turn-on's, turn-off' get the idea. I'm surprised I was not regaled with interpretive dance instructions in the parking lot just before he drove would think the Shrinking Violet was the one that rode the short bus to school.

All went well last evening as Miss Sweetness and Light played in the doggie park for an hour with her friends. She did not poop, but she ran and played nicely with others. We didn't have to leave until my allergies and asthma were causing lung failure. Then I walked her again at 10:00 p.m. Still no poop. I rationalized that she hadn't eaten much since The Man left and said a quick prayer that she would not poop in her kennel during the night.

Violet was sleeping like the dead, if the dead had access to Ambien, when at 6:00 a.m., Miss Thang began her morning vocalization practice. She starts with scales and then effortlessly moves to whining. She means business if she has to resort to barking to get your butt out of bed. Out we go into the cold morning. Clearly, the weatherman was right and the cold front had come in during the night. It was an arctic 41 degrees. And while I'm sure all you bloggers up north are getting a chuckle, I was dressing so as not to get frostbite while walking Miss Thang.

Immediately, she noticed a sprinkler head was broken and water was gurgling out into the parking lot. This was chastised with a growl and bark as appropriate. She then identified IED that was most certainly left by a terrorist. This required growling, sitting, pointing, barking and pulling my finger out of it's socket by tugging on the leash with freakish speed and strength. Upon inspection, she decided that Dasani water bottles were not a threat. Then the poor men jogging 3000 yards away had to be reminded that this was her turf with a solid round of barking that woke up the rest of the building. BUT STILL NO POOP. I'm begging her, like one the blogger's who pretended to call her daughter's poop on the phone, to PLEASE POOP, so that The Man will know I am not a failure.

Alas, it was not to be. Not until 9:00 a.m. this morning after numerous treats and pets and hugs did she produce the desired item. If she were a human child she would be a brat. I would have no control....I'd be one of those women that gets beaten by their own child.

But, dang is she cute! And those ears are still just hilarious. How could you get mad at a face like that?

Well, it is time for her noon walk. A mother's work is never done!


Blogger Arabella said...

Glad she finally "made." In my experience, the only sure-fire way to get them to poop is to put the animal in proximity to a really, really nice rug.

10:47 AM  
Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

How could you get mad at a face like that? I don't know...Where's the face? A picture, please. I want to see the hilarious ears!

10:54 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

She's punishing you. You're not a dog, so she can't withold sex. Instead, she's witholding her poop.

5:18 PM  
Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

Do you have to write the poops down on a calendar...someone made their wife track poops.

5:44 PM  
Blogger No name said...

As an experienced dog-trainer, I can reassure you that dogs will always finally poop but oftentimes, bowel movements and pee schedules are thrown when an animal is feeling out of routine. It may not have been regularly-scheduled poop but at least is happened. You are NOT a failure is she doesn't "go", okay? Heck, I once dog-sat for a pup so wigged-out that he didn't even pee for 36 hours! I finally drove him back to his home turf over 45 minutes away. As soon as his feet hit the grass outside his front door it was bombs away. :o)

I am "one of the bloggers from up North" and I agree wholeheartedly that 41 is brisk. Not knit wool cap brisk or scarf brisk but definitely mitten brisk. Hang in there!

8:40 PM  
Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

You're right...MRD is adorable!

3:42 AM  
Blogger CISSY said...

What a cute photo -- adorable doggie -- poop or no poop. Our pets are almost all brats. Or like my cat -- she's a diva.

6:08 AM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

Wow, she doesn't look half as slow as I thought she would. ;)

My mom used to have a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel that was mute. She was like a little hot water bottle with four legs and if you didn't check up on her she could go days without fertilizing the backyard. One time in particular, my mom went out of town on a trip and called after a few days to check up on me. I told her things were fine, bla, bla, bla, and then she asked about the dog.

I thought the dog had been with HER. I was mistaken. The dog was with ME.


6:53 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

My dog is smart. She makes certain that she has walked and sniffed a long distance before she takes care of her business.

Sometimes, dogs do skip a day which is nothing to worry about.

And she is cute.

6:20 PM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Hey, I have a pug. Not known for their brilliance trust me. One time when she was wrestling with the other dogs her poop simply fell out of her butt and she was spinning around like more surprised then we were as to where this could have come from!

7:01 PM  
Blogger Plain Jane said...

Boy do I know the fear of "no poop" walks! *shudder*

6:36 AM  
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