Wednesday, March 08, 2006

You're Invited

Shrinking Violet is thinking about throwing herself a shower. In less than 90 days, she, The Man and the MDR will be packing up and moving to a new city. Things are so disorganized, she now refers to herself in the third person. So, here's what she needs:

1. As much motivation as humanly possible. We're talking high school competitive cheerleading motivation levels. No need to wrap it, just send it.

2. Brain cells. She emailed her corporate helpdesk today and asked if they had any in the store room next to the mouses and keyboards. Sadly, they were fresh out.

3. Focus. The kind of laser beam focus brought about by a fist-full of ritalin.

4. Tranquilizer gun from Marlin Perkins on Mutual of Omaha's "Wild Kingdom". You see, lots of things are going on...the Kid is getting to graduate from high school, the in-laws 50th wedding anniversary, me traveling back and forth to the home office, etc. An unfortunate side effect is that the Man's bi-polar is a highly manic right now. I'd like to just give him a tranquilizer used on the average rhino that would put him him down during this transition (except for the graduation and 50th anniversary part). Then wake him up when we are in our new place. But don't poke at him because he'll be cranky!

Okay, so if you could throw yourself a shower, what would you ask for?

11 Comments:

Blogger mama_tulip said...

I'd ask for sleep. Sweet, sweet, underrated sleep. In a king-sized bed all by myself, with a fluffy comforter and flannel sheets.

4:53 PM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

New clothes and a body to go with them

4:57 PM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

I'm not having a baby or anything am I? Okay, good.

I want clothes and shoes. Really cute shoes. And gift certificates for manis and pedis. And new songs on my mp3 player.

I can keep going...

5:14 PM  
Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

I just got my shower gift.

For your shower, sadly, I'm completely out of Motivation and Brain Cells. I know I have Focus lying around here somewhere, but it's been a long time since I've seen it. The Tranquilizer Gun I could probably do, though. Don't they sell those at K-Mart?

5:15 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

Violet, violet she's our gal! *Tries to do splits and sprains her groin muscle*

I'd want clothes. Enough so that I didn't have to do laundry for a month before I ran out. :)

8:27 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

I want a head massage. And that feeling in your stomach when you're sitting in a big movie theatre and the Feature Presentation words flash on the screen before a good Indie feature you're really excited to see and your new boyfriend leans over and nuzzles that little spot behind your ear and says, "You're beautiful" and then the lights go all the way out and you take a big sip of your Coke...

8:51 PM  
Blogger Dan said...

Everyone's favorite books. That would be an eclectic collection!

Tons of dress shirts, so I never have to go to the dry cleaners.

A crew of housepainters.

And hey, I don't see why a guy can't have a shower. You people have been demanding equal gender rights for awhile, so I don't see why we can't have some of your good stuff!

10:11 PM  
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